What Makes NFL Football So Great?

Posted on Posted in Ideas

Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That’s right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives it to the poorer ones.

It’s no surprise that some one hundred million Americans will watch the Super Bowl–that’s forty million more than go to church on Christmas. It’s also eighty-five million more than watched the last game of the World Series, and in that is an economic lesson for America.

Because football is built on an economic model of fairness and opportunity, and baseball is built on a model where the rich almost always win and the poor usually have no chance.

Football is more like the Democratic philosophy. That’s why the NFL literally shares the wealth–TV is their biggest source of revenue, and they put all of it in a big commie pot and split it thirty-two ways. Because they don’t want anyone to fall too far behind. That’s why the team that wins the Super Bowl picks last in the next draft. Or what the Republicans would call “punishing success.”

Baseball, on the other hand, is exactly like the Republicans, their economic theory is every man for himself. The small-market Pittsburgh Steelers go to the Super Bowl more than anybody–but the Pittsburgh Pirates? Their payroll is $40 million; the Yankees’ is $206 million. The Pirates have about as much chance as getting in the playoffs as a poor black teenager from Newark has of becoming the CEO of Halliburton.

So you kind of have to laugh–the same angry white males who hate Obama because he’s “redistributing wealth” just love football, a sport that succeeds economically because it does just that.